The Unspoken Struggles of High Achievers: Navigating Perfectionism and Mental Wellness

A Look at Perfectionism Through a Mental Wellness Lens

“Jackie, not everything has to be perfect.”
“Why do you have to be such a perfectionist?”
“You’re such a micromanager.”
“Stop nitpicking, those things don’t matter.”
“Boss said you’re a high achiever, one of the rising stars.”

Sound familiar to some? If not, welcome to my life. Hi, hello—my name is Jackie, and I’m a perfectionist. Others label me as “type-A,” “a Virgo,” or “an overachiever.” While these labels may sound positive in the workplace, they carry a different weight when you’re someone who also struggles with anxiety and stress.

Today, I want to shed light on what it’s like to be an anxiety-prone high achiever. I’ll share:

• What’s going on inside the mind of a “high achiever” (from both a subordinate and manager’s perspective).
• Lessons I’ve learned through my personal experiences and how they might help you break free from similar struggles.

What’s Going on in My Head (Both as a Subordinate and a Manager):

As a Subordinate:

• “I must deliver more than what my boss asked for (120%).”
• “I need to maintain a positive, drama-free outlook with colleagues and never say the wrong thing.”
• “I have to review my presentation for the nth time and practice until it’s absolutely perfect.”
  

As a Manager:

• “Why isn’t [subordinate’s name] following the operational protocol? I even laminated the step-by-step procedure for them!”
• “Why did [subordinate] miss their KPI by 1%?” (Even if it was a stretch target.)
• “Is everyone having fun at the party I organized? Who’s not having fun? Why?”
  

As you can imagine, this mindset has some inevitable consequences.

For my subordinates, my perfectionism can translate to micromanaging, excessive pressure, or creating a cycle of stress and anxiety that impacts their confidence. While I see micromanagement as occasionally necessary, it doesn’t always sit well with everyone.

For myself, constantly searching for problems to fix means I rarely give my mind and body the rest and recovery they need. Worse, my stress can seep into my interactions with those around me.

Lessons Learned

After years of running on this hamster wheel, I’ve managed to adopt new perspectives that help me step off the cycle of perfectionism. While I’m not perfect (ironic, I know), these strategies remind me to re-center when I find myself spinning.

1. Pick Your Battles:
Is the issue major or minor? What are the long- and short-term repercussions? Does it truly matter in the grand scheme of things?

Feeling overwhelmed by a mountain of tasks? Write them all down and rank them by importance. Focus on no more than three active tasks at a time to avoid burnout. Trust me—this simple strategy works wonders.

2. Not Everyone Is Perfect:
Your drive for perfection makes you stand out in a crowd, and that’s your strength. But it’s equally important to remember that others have different priorities, perspectives, and values.

Those differences bring valuable attributes to the table that you may not have (yet!). Take a step back, breathe, and appreciate the unique strengths others contribute.

3. Mistakes = Learning:
Mistakes are often seen as risks, but if you flip your mindset, they become rewards. What did this mistake teach you that you can apply to a similar situation in the future? That’s a growth mindset.

In fact, some of my mistakes have been blessings in disguise. I once won my first (and still largest) account by accidentally calculating our fee rates incorrectly. True story!

4. You’re Paid to Learn from Mistakes:
While there are career-ending mistakes, most are learning opportunities. Companies pay us to grow through trial and error, and I’ve even allowed my own employees to make small mistakes intentionally to learn firsthand. Failing often leaves a deeper impression than a lecture ever could.

Let’s Start a Discussion

To my fellow high achievers: How has this trait affected you, and what are your coping mechanisms?

To those who don’t identify as high achievers: What surprised you most about this post, and how can you support the high achievers in your life?